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Entries by Buildabeard (75)

9:01AM

Eurovision 2014, you win the internet

Thanks to The Independent for alerting us to this, think we found the act we're backing to win Eurovision song contest... we're just going to leave this here...

Singing for Austria, meet Conchita Wurst, aka Tom Neuwirth, who has been performing as his alter ego Conchita since 2011. For this year's contest he will be singing 'Rise Like a Phoenix'. Tom's motto is: 'Be the best version of yourself rather than a bad copy of someone else'. Conchita is a symbol for tolerance and artistic freedom around the world.

Austria, way to prove it, you win the internet.
ORF/Thomas Ramstorfer


6:28PM

BREAKING: We are making a difference (duh)

GUYS! We're doing it; and we are winning!

Look, we never want to hurt the economy, or any one company or another, make people lose jobs or support any kind of economic regression... but the fact of the matter is, there are certain companies that are at the forefront of beardicide and pognophobia... razors, single use or fancy ones with 8000 blades, trimmers, clippers, and other sinister tools of torture, destruction and death.

The companies that support or harbor these terroristic methods, it's no surprise that we have sworn to smoke them out of their holes back in 2008/2009, when B-a-B formed.

Well, beardos and stachemates, today, we are honored to let you know the tide of the war on beards is waning, it's taken a turn; a turn that will stand out as a key moment in time that you will tell your children that the wave finally broke, and rolled back.

Bloomberg reports that beardicide supporter and facial hair villain megacompany Procter & Gamble Co. (PG) has announced that everything from Brooklyn beardos, to Movember, the Red Sox WS win, and other facial hair friendly events and efforts has taken a deep cut into their grooming sales last quarter, Chief Financial Officer Jon Moeller said yesterday on an earnings call.

"P&G’s grooming business, which includes shaving cream, razor blades and deodorant, generated $2.12 billion in revenue during the quarter ended Dec. 31 and accounted for 9.5 percent of the company’s sales. Though the division’s sales rose 3 percent, excluding currency effects, John Faucher, an analyst at JPMorgan Chase & Co. in New York, said in a Jan. 13 note that sales of non-disposable razors and blades fell 7.8 percent in the 12 weeks through Dec. 21. The reason: “Increased interest in facial hair.” 

Congrats everyone, we should all be proud of our efforts, our commitment, resolve and determination to bring about this change. We thank you for teaching ogres like P&G to remember Ezekiel 25:17

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy My brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon you." 

Kudos everyone. Remember this day. Onward and upward.

Thank you,

Build-a-Beard Editors

 

11:40AM

May it be the hairiest yet!

Happy new year our fellow beardsmen and stachemates! May 2014 bring you more control, less knots and only smoothness and no itching.

Much love from B-a-B

Photo curtesy of BeardCalendar.com

5:45PM

The Beards Get What the Beards Take

Congrats to YOUR Boston Red Sox. World Champs!

The beards are strong with them, and they will be strong with the beards.

11:07AM

Beardvertising

Yeah... We are not in show business, sort of, but here's some advice to TV and ad execs. Put an awesome beard front and center, and they will watch... Build it (a beard) and they will come.
.
Kudos Seth, that red beard is just amazing.

2:33PM

BREAKING: Growing a beard is good for you

Beards, now with more science!

credit: DJ NATURE Poster at El Bar Bero
Don't say we didn't tell you so... but we did, and we were right. Beards are good, so good, they fight off cancer... yeah, that's right, fuck you cancer!

  • As per New Now Next a new study from the University of Southern Queensland, published in the Radiation Protection Dosimetry Journal, finds that beards block 90 to 95% of UV rays, thus slowing aging process and as an added bonus reduces the risk of skin cancer! Boom.
  • Remember all those jokes about crap stuck in people's beards? We are laughing last... per the study pollen and dust also get stuck one's facial hair, possibly reducing asthmatic issues... Boom, squared.
  • The study also reinforces the point that the longer/thicker the beard, the more moisture it retains while protecting your boyish face and perfect skin from wind. While on the flip side shows that shaving causes ingrown hairs which lead to bacterial infections also known as... acne! Kaboom.

Though the study was conducted on mannequins and not real beardos, we see a lot of validation in what we do, what you all grow and pretty much making sense of everything that is right with the world.

If you want to send us a thank you, you can email us at buildabeard@gmail.com
10:14AM

Vote In The Beards

Happy voting day campers... did you vote yet? Yes? Good. No? GO VOTE! #proveit and vote in the beards.

I give you, the class of 2012 -- Barack OBeardy and Mitt Beardney:

9:52AM

Best Reason to Vote

The Economy? Jobs? Foreign Policy? Healthcare? Energy Independence? No... Helping avoid beard or moustache-cide, especially during Movember.

Look, we're not going to baited into the political discussions of he said or what the other guy said, all we know is that David Axelrod, a senior adviser to Barack Obama’s presidential campaign, said Wednesday he will shave off his 40 y/o mustache on national television if Obama loses Minnesota, Michigan or Pennsylvania on Election Day.

Here's a clip of the testy proposal on Joe Scarborough, the host of MSNBC’s “Morning Joe”:

So... MN, MI, PA... the ball is in your court, or on your chin and upper lip that is. You know what to do... #proveit.

9:05PM

Happy Bearday America!

Beards and freedom go hand in chin. Happy Bearday America!

 

 

1:07PM

Facebook IPO Inside Scoop

So D day is here -- F day probably is a bit crude -- Facebook is now public. You want in on the action, you want a taste of the hype, your chalice of koolaid is empty and you need a hit baaaaaaaaaaad... well, here's the inside scoop from the offices of Build-a-Beard CFO.

The FB stock wont do as good as you thought, or even as good as it should, for one simple fact we know (and you probably do too)... because of Mr. Zuckerber's (aka Zucks, aka Is that a question, aka FB CEO, aka I own your face, aka Richie Rich) facial hairlessness. A face that by all Google image research accounts has never even had as much as a stubble on his chinny chin chin.

For shame sir, you're public now... now more than ever you need to man up, grow up and like your ownership of Facebook, you need to maintain at least 53% of your face with hair. Consider this a challenge, we dare you to #proveit... or at least fund a facial hair charity like Movember, Bearduary or other facial hair cheerleaders like say... us... to help fight and stop pogonophobia.

Until then...

9:33AM

Lower Taxes, Beards and a Movement for the Ages

By Dr. Aaron Perlut

When the Declaration of Independence was adopted in 1776, Americans understood that we were endowed by our creators with inherent and inalienable rights; among them being life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

We were also afforded a freedom from unfair taxation, and with this in mind, on President’s Day 2012 theAmerican Mustache Institute launched the most important tax-mitigation initiative since the founding fathers created our system of government.

It’s called the “Million Mustache March,” which you can learn more about at StacheAct.com. It aims to support of the proposed Stimulus to Allow Critical Hair Expense Act – legislation conceived by noted tax policy professor Dr. John Yeutter. If  adopted, it would provide an annual $250 tax refund to people of facial hair for expenditures on mustache grooming supplies in the determination of Adjusted Gross Income.

Here’s how you can support this very important movement:

· Visit StacheAct.com where you can add a past presidential mustache to a Facebook photo;

· Or, Join the American Mustache Institute in Washington, D.C., on April 1 for a physical march of one million

Mustached Americans from the U.S. Capitol to the White House.

To show their support of our people, for each person who participates – either on Facebook or in the March – H&R Block will make a contribution to Millions From One, which delivers clean drinking water to those who cannot obtain it themselves. 

Why is this so important?

Facial hair and government have not been easy partners. There have been only nine U.S. presidents with facial hair – none since William Howard Taft. There has not even been a Mustached American major party candidate for President since Thomas E. Dewey in 1948. There are currently just 34 people of facial hair in the U.S. House of Representatives, only North Dakota’s John Hoeven in the U.S. Senate, and 26 states without facial hair representation.

Despite these statistics, America has always relied on people of facial hair to improve good looks, as it’s been proven that having a beard or mustache increases handsomeness by 38 percent. 

But those good looks came at a cost – in the form of American-made facial hair grooming products like beard and mustache trimmers, hair dyes, dynamite and mayonnaise.

Therefore, given the clear link between the growing and maintenance of mustaches and not only good looks but, according to studies, incremental income, it appears clear that mustache maintenance costs qualify for and should be considered as a deductible expense related to the production of income under Internal Revenue Code Section 212.

Hence, the STACHE Act.

So we ask you today – American taxpayers and brothers in facial hair – don’t disregard the interests nor intentions of the founding fathers.

Join us for the most important movement in the history of movements. Help ensure for the fair taxation of our people, and at the same time, help deliver clean drinking water to those who cannot obtain it themselves.

--

About the Author: Dr. Aaron Perlut is the chairman of the American Mustache Institute and considered one of the three most good looking men in Western civilization.

4:28PM

Negative Beard is Positive

Happy Monday,

Stare into the red dot for 30 seconds. Then blink into a blank (preferably white) wall. Then, consider your mind blown.

This is proof (thank you Tumblr) that there is no negativity in beards, even when talking about a negative. Pogonophobia be damned!

Pin It

4:28PM

Mustache Hope

"The time is always right to do what is right." Martin Luther King Jr

Honoring the memory of Dr. King we often forget, the man also rocked a pretty amazing stache... we musn't forget Dr. King's willingness to not conform to the fresh faced madness of the 50s and 60s and rock what he wanted, when he wanted, because it was the right thing to do... The memory of his daring actions, ideals and ideas should linger longer than one day a year.


12:54AM

Stand By Movember

Well, Movember is over... and it's antics like these in office buildings and cubuicles all over the world that we will miss... while these aren't the most hairy of upper lips, this example made us smile.

Remember kiddies, Build-a-Beard, is a place where every month is Movember and every day is Bearduary.

10:29AM

Peanuts, Hot Dogs, Beards & Beer

 

The center of Amish life in America is closer to a donut than a whoopie pie. The outlying farmland of Lancaster, PA, is dotted with silos, buggies, propane tanks and volleyball courts. But the center of town is conspicuously devoid of the Donegal-sporting men of humble buttons. Not for lack of an invitation, though.

"The Amish are America's original beardsmen. And we would love for you to be a judge," Phil Olsen told a suspender-clad father of five in the last minutes of Amish camp Friday afternoon. The deal-breaker, as it probably would have been for any Amish he'd have asked, was the photography issue. Amish don't cotton to having graven images made of them or their families. And as many of the contestants Saturday will attest, the moment a beard entered Clipper Stadium for the Second Annual Beard Team USA National Beard and Moustache Championships, camera time was unavoidable.

Moreso this year perhaps due to a certain IFC reality show. Even seasoned bearding veterans could feel the momentum and stigma of Whisker Wars hanging over the competition. The show undeniably attracted a new breed of fan, giving the Championships a noticeable boost in attendance. But that same attention was painted with an expectation of drama and politics.

Jon Rice"Is Jack Passion really a dick? Are the Texas guys really that petty? How much of that show is real?" cooed a Whisker Wars superfan whose own whiskers appeared about as old as the series. Myk O'Connor and Jon Rice, who were waiting in the same will call line, were patient and polite, neither of them indulging in the opportunity to perpetuate the hype.

And there the hype stopped. On-show rivals competed on-stage together without a hitch. With the exception of the evil fifth Teletubby accosting Jack Passion at one point, most controversy revolved around the newly minted Full Beard Groomed category.

At last year's Nationals, the more tightly cropped among beards were forced to compete in either Full Beard Natural or Freestyle, leaving world-class Verdis and Garibaldis to stand alongside the likes of Aarne Bielefeldt and Willi Chevalier. The Full Beard Groomed category was designed to mitigate this issue and give those with shorter growth a fair chance to compete.

"It's a step in the right direction," remarked John Myatt, whose immaculately trimmed, crimson Verdi took top Groomed honors, "but there needs to be more categories. There were a bunch of big, wonderful beards that weren't very groomed."

Gormon wasn't alone in that sentiment as category talk occupied the bulk of the Beard Team USA meeting the next day in the Lancaster suburb of Intercourse, PA. There, concerns were voiced for category fairness, the limitations of the English language and the marginalization of moustaches.

 But after a meeting of mild grievances, competition announcements, screening invitations, Vegas talk and one wedding announcement (congrats Steve and Savannah), it was just a pleasant afternoon of beards, pulled pork, a couple Amish kids playing volleyball nearby and Jack Passion being photographed on a swing.

 

This story was lovingly and kindly written by Build-a-Beard's first ever freelancer scout and gonzo journalist, John Benedict (aka America's Beard). From the bottom of our hairy hearts, thank you John!

11:11AM

Fear and Loathing in Lancaster

The Second Annual Beard Team USA National Beard and Moustache Championships is kicking off it's multiple days of activity today, with the final (and main) event being held on October 8, 2011 at the Clipper Magazine Stadium, in Lancaster, Pennsylvania... home of the fighting Amish (no, not really, it's actually Lancaster Barnstormers).

There are a few things different this year than the inaugural contest last year in Bend Oregon... Yes, Jack Passion is still MCing, it is still a total of $5000 ($1000 per category) in cash to be awarded to the winners and yes there will be beards and staches and goatees and fake beards (on friday)... but two glaring differences are of note: The competition will take place in five (not 4) categories, he newbie being the full beard groomed category, in addition to the moustache, partial beard, full beard natural, and freestyle. 

And perhaps most importantly... Build-a-Beard will (begrudgingly) bow out of competition, and even attendance, this year... Sad, shocking, yes we know... but we have holy reasons for doing so, trust us.

That said, we will be there in spirit, and in body... not our body but another beardo, John Benedict (aka America's Beard) filling in as the first ever freelance beard scout and B-a-B blogger. John will not only be one with the bearded Amish, he will compete, he will drink, he will report back and he will be awesome... his beard and his energy will not disappoint (no pressure, John).
9:24PM

iBeard -- RIP

"Banks don't like beards." - Steve Jobs, 1999

It is with great sadness we inform you of what by now you already know... The icon of beards in Silicon Valley (perhaps anywhere), the most innovative beard of all time, the sage of the fruity tech and the ultimate proof that beards and dreams go together, Steve Jobs has passed away at the age of 56.

 

We will miss you Steve (we miss you already), but we know you're in a better place... side by side with the almighty, another long time successful beardo. When he checks his iList at the Pearly Gates, you're sure to be right at the top.

Your iBeard has always been everyone's Beard, and it will live on in all of us.

11:14AM

Stache 2012

We have always said at B-a-B that facial hair transcends politics. Our love and devotion to promoting global hirsute appreciation goes beyond and above any other social issue (or fiscal)... that said, it should be the goal of all beardos and stachemates to eliminate pogonophobia from all corners of the world. Arguably, the best way to do this is to elect officials with facial hair.

Those mates are hard to find (and even harder to find are the gals)... but, we have found one. If you haven't met or heard of him yet, please meet Herman Cain, he is currently running for president of the United States. Like or dislike his politics, or that of his GOP compadres (all of whom, including Michele Bachmann) are facial hairless.

Herman, who recently won the Florida Straw Poll, you have our support... just don’t shave. Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can grow for your country.

11:39AM

What's in YOUR Beard?

We LOVE a good comedy skit, a cute video or picture with hairy protagonist... let alone two! And more over, we LOVE knowing what happens to wind up in people's beards.

So, take some time off this friday afternoon and check our this item sent to us all the way from the great state of Minnesota. This is the first (?) in a series (?) asks the question we all want to know: What's in your beard?

3:11PM

Bubba Smith, Stache God, NFL Star and Actor... Dead at 66

Long live the stache of Bubba Smith, long live Moses Hightower... we will miss you greatly. RIP you glorious Stache you.