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Entries in Jake Gyllenhaal (1)

5:35PM

Golden Beardos of the Failed Globes

Credit Reuters

Yeah, we're dissapointed too... and not necessarily just with the fact that Ricky Gervais disappeared halfway through the terribly edited, seated (no elbow room even for Bruce Willis?!?), bleeped, and most importantly bearded awards show... either way, conspiracy theories aside, compared to last year, this was a much hairless of a gathering, with the hottest accesory item seemingly being the baby bump and not some facial fuzz, sadly.

Even though the Globes again were hosted by the slightly more bearded (than last year) creator of the Office series, and an all around funny godless chap, Mr. Gervais... even though the beardos that did grace the red carpet and stage were nearly all corporate beardos (like myself), it does not deter the annual thought that the drab event proves again and again why awards shows are unnecessary and irrelevant (The Social Network sweeps, really? Jump the shark much?)... that said, here are our top 5 beardos at the Globes. Unlike Hollywood, we can keep a tradition going for more than a year.

#5) Scott Caan -- Like the show he was nominated for (TV series 'Hawaii Five-O'), this look's been done, and it's missing a lot...

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#4) Brad Pitt/Johnny Depp -- Brad trimmed his goatee, but at least he didn't shave it... besides, great arm candy will make everything look better. Johnny is perpetually goateed, and well, he deserves to be on every list, always.

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#3) Ricky Gervais -- I liked his mean-ness, people need to grow a pair (especially in Cali), besides... he bested his last year scruff with a full on corporate beard. Kudos.

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#2) Jake Gyllenhaal -- Is he Spiderman or Brokeback Mountain? Ah who cares, this beard is full and well groomed. B-a-B Approved!

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#1) Christian Bale -- Clearly THE best effort (at least that was photographed heavily) last night... If half the audience was even 50% this bearded we would not be complaining, Christian... you fucking rock, thank you for supporting and sporting the beard.

Credit ReutersAs if there is any doubt WHY he's the only one on our list that actually collected a Golden Globe... Hollywood take note, and stop disappointing us! Take another bow Mr. Bale... you're our Beardo of the Month!

Credit Reuters