GUYS! We're doing it; and we are winning!
Look, we never want to hurt the economy, or any one company or another, make people lose jobs or support any kind of economic regression... but the fact of the matter is, there are certain companies that are at the forefront of beardicide and pognophobia... razors, single use or fancy ones with 8000 blades, trimmers, clippers, and other sinister tools of torture, destruction and death.
The companies that support or harbor these terroristic methods, it's no surprise that we have sworn to smoke them out of their holes back in 2008/2009, when B-a-B formed.
Well, beardos and stachemates, today, we are honored to let you know the tide of the war on beards is waning, it's taken a turn; a turn that will stand out as a key moment in time that you will tell your children that the wave finally broke, and rolled back.
Bloomberg reports that beardicide supporter and facial hair villain megacompany Procter & Gamble Co. (PG) has announced that everything from Brooklyn beardos, to Movember, the Red Sox WS win, and other facial hair friendly events and efforts has taken a deep cut into their grooming sales last quarter, Chief Financial Officer Jon Moeller said yesterday on an earnings call.
"P&G’s grooming business, which includes shaving cream, razor blades and deodorant, generated $2.12 billion in revenue during the quarter ended Dec. 31 and accounted for 9.5 percent of the company’s sales. Though the division’s sales rose 3 percent, excluding currency effects, John Faucher, an analyst at JPMorgan Chase & Co. in New York, said in a Jan. 13 note that sales of non-disposable razors and blades fell 7.8 percent in the 12 weeks through Dec. 21. The reason: “Increased interest in facial hair.”
Congrats everyone, we should all be proud of our efforts, our commitment, resolve and determination to bring about this change. We thank you for teaching ogres like P&G to remember Ezekiel 25:17
"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy My brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon you."
Kudos everyone. Remember this day. Onward and upward.