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1:07PM

Facebook IPO Inside Scoop

So D day is here -- F day probably is a bit crude -- Facebook is now public. You want in on the action, you want a taste of the hype, your chalice of koolaid is empty and you need a hit baaaaaaaaaaad... well, here's the inside scoop from the offices of Build-a-Beard CFO.

The FB stock wont do as good as you thought, or even as good as it should, for one simple fact we know (and you probably do too)... because of Mr. Zuckerber's (aka Zucks, aka Is that a question, aka FB CEO, aka I own your face, aka Richie Rich) facial hairlessness. A face that by all Google image research accounts has never even had as much as a stubble on his chinny chin chin.

For shame sir, you're public now... now more than ever you need to man up, grow up and like your ownership of Facebook, you need to maintain at least 53% of your face with hair. Consider this a challenge, we dare you to #proveit... or at least fund a facial hair charity like Movember, Bearduary or other facial hair cheerleaders like say... us... to help fight and stop pogonophobia.

Until then...

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