Boycott SNL! Beards of the World... UNITE!
Dec 18, 2010 at 1:56PM | By El Beardo Enough is enough... the beards are not to be messed with, and once pushed too far, we will come back thicker, darker and more rich with vigor (aka longer and uncut) than ever before! Billboards are one thing, but this 'shaving culture' that seems to be rearing it's ugly bald head during the last month of this year of our lord, the year of the beard, is disgusting... and feeding this shaved beast is ill advised, especially during Decembeard.
Our favorite goatee winner from last year's globes, THE dude, el Duderino himself (and the star of both “Tron: Legacy” and “True Grit”) will be hosting “Saturday Night Live” tonight... which was supposed to be a Christmas SNL to remember. Now it will be one we'll never forget... ever.
Our dear Jeff Bridges seems to have followed in the sad ways of Zach G. from last march, when the reTARD succumbed to corporate pressure and shaved during his hosting stint at SNL... well, we are calling BULLSHIT on this 'comedy show' that seems to be filled with writers seemingly unable (or worse yet, unwilling) to let their creative juices flow to write skits for furry faces... FOR SHAME we say.
Just like the dreaded NY Yankees are known for destroying chin manes of incoming players, so too does SNL seem to prey on facial fuzz heroes, mandating a shiny chin for the supposed honor to host their 'show'. Well, mission accomplished... not only have they destroyed yet another beardo hero, but they have ruined Christmas, a holiday usually full of beards and hairy cheer we love so much...
So, today we call for an outright BOYCOTT of SNL! Not until Jeff's beard grows back, but until they let a bearded brethren once again host and grace their stage with hairy fortitude. And perhaps moreover, until they admit their pogonophobic ways and REPENT! Until then, we are sorry to bring you the clip below, which was used as a promo for tonight's episode, showing His Dudeness taking a buzzer to his sweet sweet beard... it really tied the whole face together Jeff, you are out of your element!
FAIL!
Bullshit, Christmas, Jeff Bridges, New york Yankees, SNL, Tron: Legacy, True Grit, Zach Galifianakis, beardicide, boycott, hulu, pogonophobia | in Decembeard, Fail, beard, beardicide
Reader Comments (7)
wow. that video was very depressing :'(
first i will start by saying that i did not see the episode in question, but did watch that hulu clip above and it was quite painful for me. much ill is caused by such "unnecessary" shaving, however the role of a snl host is to typically play a wide range of characters on a show. facial hair can limit the amount of characters one can portray. like i said i did not watch the episode so i do not know if such characters he played deemed facial hair "unnecessary". it would be nice for the writers to think outside the box perhaps to include the actors facial fuzz into the script for the show. and then at the end of the hulu clip jeff informs that eminem and lil wayne will be appearing. thank bearded jesus i missed the episode. lil wayne and auto-tune's continuation to destroy music is a whole new debate on its own. as far as the billboards promoting shaving and mens marketing campaigns, i think they just fear the beards.
Jeff, WHY? WHY? the money can't be worth it?! Promo-ing the Tron movie cannot be worth the nakedness of your chin! "they" obviously can make a lot of movies for a bearded character...so why can't this slowly-becoming-lamer-each-passing-year show write skits for a bearded character? there is so much comical nature heald within and around a beard. but i can now see why chuck norris has never hosted the show!!
May I humbly interject? Why, yes. I may. Here is a posting box for comments by readers of your fine blahg.
To boycot SNL would be to infer that more than zero people watch that ridiculous show. As it is, New Yorkers begin their nightlives after SNL has aired, and the rest of us have all gone to bed before it airs. How perfect is it, then, that such an anti-beard programme would have an audience of nobody at all to influence? Quite perfect indeed.
As that is the case, let us not revel in the bitching of some Dude going bare for the new year. Instead, let us celebrate the beards of tomorrow. Here's to Alex and Kristina and all the Build-a-Beard readers. Happy 2011.
Please remove the word 'retard' from this article. I'd expect better from you folks.
Sorry you feel that we've somehow let you down A M, but we were merely quoting (with the necessary accent) Zach's seminal movie The Hangover... no disrespect to the mentally challenged.
AM:
Perhaps you have a suggestion on another word to use?
Y'know when it's okay to call people "retard?" When they're freaking being retarded. Does that suggest the target is mentally incapacitated, developmentally disabled, or clinically retarded? No. It's not the same, and your white guilt won't change that.